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boiled down to it's simplest terms. But life isn't that simple. Consider, He's been in this relationship for 40 years. That puts him in his late 50's or early sixties. Unless he has a great deal of wealth, a divorce would probably be a financial disaster and at 60, starting over again is difficult if not down right impossible. Based on his comments, #2 is highly unlikely and #3 most likely would result in #4. How can he handle this without destroying what's left in the balance of his life? Somehow, he needs to find the key that open her mind.
I read a good analogy of relationships vs. casual relationships. In one, you are both "co-piloting" the direction of the plane, so to speak. You communicate and compromise together on equal footing. There is a balance of and respect. The casual relationship is one where there is a driver, and the other is the passenger. D, Dont be sorry, I ll wait forever for you. The driver steers in any direction of (his) choice, while the passenger just reacts to his decisions, usually more in (and afraid of losing the other) than the driver. It sounds to me like you are the passenger, waiting for the shoe to drop. You have a choice: since you've waited too to communicate what you're looking for in a relationship (- term goals included), here's your to just come out and tell him. For instance, sit him down and say, "I am looking for a monogamous relationship, and plan to get married within the next years (or whatever you have in mind). Are you willing to go with my program? How do you yourself 
in those plans?" Or, you could continue being the passenger, live in fear of abandonment, and play nice. It sounds like you avoid confrontation, but I'll tell you one thing: when you don't express your thoughts, feelings, or boundaries/expectations, you are bullying yourself. It's a form of low self-worth. Think about it: if you tell a what your needs are, and he runs for the hills, is that the kind of you want to be in a relationship with? Why wouldn't you tell it like it is? If you want a to respect you, then you have to start respecting yourself.
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